Nine's Journal
by Algazoth
Summary: Nine's journal is pretty concise. Not quite crack!fic, not quite not.


Nines's journal

**Disclaimer**: I have no affiliation with the BBC.**  
Timeline**: Somewhere prior and during season 1.**  
Summary**: Nine's journal is pretty concise.**  
A/N**: Not quite crack!fic, not quite not. Had fun though. Thinking of doing the same with season 2…

Persuaded a famous (to be) scientist to reconsider boarding the Titanic on its maiden-tour. I never found out who had given him the ticket as a gift. Some particularly stupid young ape tried to pickpocket me, but he ran onboard the ship before I could catch him.

Thought I'd have a little holyday on Hawaii, ended up near Krakatoa hours before it erupted. Tried to warn them, but they got the notion that I was the cause of it all. Wanted to sacrifice me to appease the gods. Had to make a hasty retreat.

Went to see the JFK assassination firsthand. It's a fixed event in time, but I was curious. The sniper on the grassy knoll turned out to be a Sontaran, hired by some men in the Secret service. I'm not very surprised.

Autons on earth. Again. How tedious. Brought one of Ace's nitrobombs, just wanted a big old BOOM. Ended up asking a blonde girl to move in with me. Very odd. Good thing she said no.

Met said girl and future self in Tobago, 4310. Skinny pretty-boy with floppy hair, gave him a good shouting about the dangers of paradoxes. Apparently I neglected to mention that the TARDIS has temporal capabilities.

Spent the day in the cloisters, thinking. Ended up wiping own memory after writing myself a post-it note. Later went to pick up fore-mentioned blonde.

Took Rose to see the earth go boom. Was feeling very frustrated, a big bang always helps. Found myself flirting with a tree. To bad she burned, she could've helped with the frustration part.

Ended up in bloody Cardiff. On the plus side: I met Dickens! THE Dickens. And I wasn't even trying to. On the downside: Rose in a corset did not help with said frustration.

Got slapped by Rose's mother, bloody undignified. Met the future PM. Thwarted an invasion. Got hit by a missile. Hid in a small cupboard with Rose, I think she was feeling my bum. Busy day.

Took Rose to a beach with pink sand. She was radiant. Was planning to make a move but lost my nerve and then put my foot in my mouth. Again.

Was outed by a dalek. Rose brought along a stupid pretty-boy, I couldn't say no to her. Will have to do something about the whole situation soon. Maybe more explosions will help.

Visited a spacestation. Liberated earth from junk-tv. Why do humans like to watch fiction so much? Oh, and kicked Rose's pretty-boy off before he could try anything I'd have to kill him for.

Tried to show off to Rose, backfired horribly. She was devastated. Got to spend the night in her bed, but comforting her was not my plan. It was kinda' nice though.

Followed a mauve alert. Rose picked up yet another pretty-boy. I was not amused and sulked. Apparently she didn't think I was interested in her that way. I showed her my moves later that evening. Earned that slap in retrospect I guess.

That pretty-boy, Jack, turned out to be ok after a stern glaring. He has nimble hands. The TARDIS approves. We went shopping on Memphis-4.

Caught Jack in library, reading from my secret stash. Apparently these ears have a tendency to turn red. Rose just laughed.

Dropped Jack off on a pleasure-planet and took Rose to Woman Wept. Very romantic. The ice was cold, my rear got frostbite.

Went to a spring festival on Romulus. Ate loads of chocolate and participated in the local customs. Jack was very eager to return next year. I pointed out that we could visit next year's cerebration tomorrow; he was ecstatic.

Made a pit-stop in Cardiff to refuel the TARDIS. Sensed an odd temporal disturbance (other than just the rift) after landing but had no time to investigate further, as all hell broke loose. The TARDIS decided to create an egg. Maybe she was inspired by our repeated visits to that spring festival.

Dropped off the Slitheen egg on Raxacoricofallapatorious and took a detour to the hanging gardens of Babylon. Rose liked the roses. I found out that setting 554 on my screwdriver can remove thorns from someone's back.

Picked up a few spare parts on Jericho-5. Rose later mentioned she met someone by the name Ace. I wonder…

Visited a backwater planet to show Rose a dual-sun sunset. Jack made a pass at their high-priest. They took it as an official declaration of war. We ended up legging it.

Woke up in the wardrobe room with two hours missing last night. Only thing out of place was a swirly patterned tie in my left pocket. I have no clue to what happened, must have wiped own memory.

Rose nagged me to take her out dancing. We went to a royal ball in Paris. Jack was challenged to a duel at dawn. We buggered off, post haste. Had to help Rose out of her dress later, which made the evening worthwhile.

Showed off a bit by trying to ride a pterodactyl on prehistoric earth. They were not as similar to Vortisaurs as I thought. Ended up running for our lives as per usual. I think the animal might have been sucked through our backdraft into the Time Vortex. No telling where it could have ended up. Better track it down later.

Jack got lost wandering the ship. Eventually found him tinkering with K-9. I got emotional, shouted a bit. Rose told me off, apparently he got upset. Apologised by taking him to see a Broadway show.

Spent the night on a rocky desertplanet after I forgot where we parked. I blamed the sandstorm ofcourse. Rose complained all night, Jack snored. Maybe I'll make it up to them by taking them to – hang on what was that sound? Some kind of transportbe


End file.
